Everyday, the Demon Lord is Escaping His Marriage — Chapter 18 Part 2

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Chapter 18 Part 2: “Little Ice Cube, why didn’t you go to the Shang Qing Immortal Sect?”

Hua Che held a mutton fat jade bottle¹ that was filled to the brim with spiritual medicine. Glancing into the distance, he asked, “How are Sasa and them doing?”

“The fire has already been extinguished, and they are now handling the aftermath.” Chu Binghuan urged him, “There’s no need for you to worry. Drink your medicine.”

Hua Che shook the jade bottle. The medicine inside sloshed, beckoning in an amiable and friendly manner, but Hua Che only trembled with fear. 

After all, he had known Chu Binghuan for a hundred years. Hua Che had already suffered deeply.

That’s right, the Demon Lord didn’t fear anything in the heavens or the Earth. He only dreaded Chu Binghuan’s medicine.

The medicine he brewed was extremely and world-shakingly bitter. After taking a sip, one wouldn’t even dare to imagine the next.

Chu Binghuan sweetly called this the “let’s see if you dare to get sick again” effect. This had intimidated Hua Che until he was scared witless, just wishing to flee miserably.

Now, merely hearing the sound of sloshing medicine in the bottle was enough to make Hua Che feel goosebumps. He wanted to cry.

“That, uh, let’s first chat about……”

Chu Binghuan said coldly, “Drink!”

Sob!

Hua Che pinched his nose. Lifting the jade bottle, he took a tentative sip. Immediately choking, his eyes began overflowing with tears.

While coughing, Hua Che cried, “If you wanted me to die, just say it earlier! Don’t use this method to torture me!”

Unfortunately, Chu Binghuan had a heart of stone. “Drink it in one go!”

Hua Che anxiously said, “You’re trying to murder your husband!”

Chu Binghuan: “……”

The moment he said this, even Hua Che blanked out.

Merely because the current atmosphere was just right, perfectly fusing with what had happened in his previous life. Hua Che’s words hadn’t been processed by his brain, so he instinctively……babbled nonsense.

Chu Binghuan was also distracted by him.

It was really just that coincidental. Both the location and the people involved were exactly the same.

In their past life, half a year after worshipping the Shang Qing Immortal Sect, they left the mountain to train at the Ming Yue Valley. 

In order to save someone, Hua Che accidentally fell into the cold pond. By the time he was rescued, he had both inner wounds and surface ones.

When Chu Binghuan first helped him brew some medicine, Hua Che had been extremely overwhelmed by this favour. As a result, the moment he received the bowl and took a sip, Hua Che’s complexion changed drastically with fright. 

Entire face distorting, he yelled, “So bitter?! Quick quick quick, take it away, I don’t want to drink it anymore!”

When Hua Che shows his bad temper, there wasn’t much of a difference between him and a three-year old child. Despite reasoning with him in every single way possible, he just wasn’t willing to drink the medicine.

Unfortunately, Chu Binghuan wasn’t someone with patience or a good temper. He directly sealed Hua Che’s acupuncture points, pried open his mouth, and then poured all of the medicinal soup in.

Following that, Hua Che had laid on the ground wailing as tears streamed down his face because of the bitterness. The people who didn’t know what was happening would have thought he was trying to sell himself to bury his father²!

“Chu Binghuan, this is like killing your husband! Just tell me if you want to live as a widow, I’ll help you accomplish your goal!”

In the very end, Chu Binghuan raised his sword and then chased Hua Che all over the Ming Yue Valley to give him a beating. Only then did Hua Che shut up.

Good medicine tastes bitter. Although Chu Binghuan’s medicine tasted utterly ridiculous, its healing efficacy was truly good.

But after Hua Che said that sentence, “You’re trying to murder your husband!”, he felt extremely awkward. In a single breath, he drank all of the medicinal soup.

While he resisted the urge to cry, something sweet suddenly exploded in his mouth.

It was candied fruit.

Hua Che stared at Chu Binghuan with astonishment. This vicious and merciless medical cultivator could actually be so considerate?

Wasn’t Chu Binghuan the most fond of appreciating other people’s expressions of extreme suffering after they drank his medicine???

In addition, the flavour of the candied fruit tasted extremely familiar to Hua Che.

“You, this……” Hua Che pointed at his bloodless lips and said, “Where did you buy this from?”

Chu Binghuan opened a white handkerchief. Inside were more than ten different types of candied fruit. “I made them myself.” 

Hua Che was someone very fond of sweets. Even when eating candied fruit, they would have to be covered in a thick layer of honey. He extremely loved eating candied fruit made from apples, pears, peaches, and greengage.

Hua Che had bought candied fruit from the street vendors in the mortal realm. He had also tried the ones made by the chefs in the imperial city. 

But none of them could be compared to the candied fruit Chu Binghuan made. They made Hua Che’s eyes light up. Only a single bite turned his taste buds pampered and unable to tolerate anything worse.

Unfortunately, Chu Binghuan was extremely stingy. Only when Hua Che drank medicine did he compassionately grant Hua Che two pieces. It made him unspeakably miserable.

Afterwards, Hua Che defected from the Shang Qing Immortal Sect. Since they lived on different sides of the sky, it made it even more impossible for Hua Che to eat those candied fruits again.

By the time Chu Binghuan once again began spending all of his time with him, the two of them were already standing on opposite factions, where only one of them could live. There was no need to even mention having the opportunity to eat Chu Binghuan’s candied fruits again.

Once again tasting them after a hundred years, Hua Che eyes nearly brimmed with tears.

Raising his hand, he stuffed another piece into his mouth. Then the third, the fourth, the fifth, until he tried every type of candied fruit there.

“I never knew Young Lord Chu had such clever hands.” Hua Che grinned before saying, “In the future, whichever family’s daughter who marries you would be very blessed.”

Chu Binghuan shot him a look. Holding some dried firewood, he lit a fire.

“Little Ice Cube, why didn’t you go to the Shang Qing Immortal Sect?”

Chu Binghuan broke off a branch and threw it into the fire. “Didn’t want to go.”

Hua Che lazily asked, “Do you want to succeed in cultivating the Dao and ascend into immortality?”

Chu Binghuan: “No.”

“Does that mean you’re also reluctant to leave the mortal realm?” Hua Che was very surprised. He asked with a smile, “Then tell me, what kind of female cultivator do you like? It’s impossible for someone like you to marry a mortal woman, right?”

Chu Binghuan didn’t speak, so Hua Che began thinking aloud. “First of all, she must have a prestigious background. In the very least, she needs to be from a family that is an appropriate match for Yuntian Shuijing. Next, she must have good moral qualities and a nice personality. After all, she needs to put up with your cold and unfriendly temperament. So she must be gentle yet wise. Her cultivation level also can’t be too shallow……”

“Hua Qingkong.”

“But her temperament can’t be too weak and delicate. She needs to be strong enough, able to manage both the guest hall and work in the kitchen³. Oh, that’s right, she must also have good culinary skills. After all, Young Lord Chu has been spoiled and pampered since young. You’re extremely picky, unable to eat meat or strongly flavoured vegetables like onions, ginger, garlic or peppers. Meanwhile, you like tofu and flour products like noodles and buns……”

Chu Binghuan’s heart constricted. He gave Hua Che a deep look. “You……know me so well?”

“You like dumplings, fresh ones stuffed with three fillings. You only drink Mount Lu Cloud Mist tea⁴. Oh, if there really isn’t any, you could make do with West Lake Longjing tea⁵. You dislike drinking wine. During festivals like the New Years where you have no choice but to drink, you would only have Revealing Autumn White wine. You also suffer from mysophobia and loathe dirtiness. You’ll definitely beat someone up if they tried going to bed without bathing after practising their swordsmanship……”

Chu Binghuan’s eyes were covered with a layer of mist. “These things, where did you hear them from?”

Hua Che chuckled lightly. “I guessed it! In addition, every night before sleeping, you must light a Profound Water incense stick. Ah, I need to record all of this down and give it to your destined wife.”

Chu Binghuan’s expression immediately cooled. “Shut up and rest.”

“No way.” Hua Che smiled. Looking magnanimous, yet also bright and cheerful, his handsome face showed a weariness that was hard to hide. 

“I’m afraid, if I shut up now, I won’t have a chance to ever speak again in the future.”

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1. For more information, check: https://www.gemstone7.com/540-mutton-fat-jade.html.
2. In ancient China, sometimes people would sell themselves (be it prostitution or becoming a slave) on the streets to earn enough money to bury their deceased elders.
3. If you’re curious about what this means, check: https://www.quora.com/What-does-this-Chinese-phrase-mean-“入得廚房，出得廳堂，上得牙床”.
4. For details, check: https://www.letsdrinktea.com/types-of-tea/green-tea/lu-mountain-cloud-mist-tea/.
5. For more details, check: https://www.chinahighlights.com/travelguide/chinese-tea/west-lake-dragon-well-tea.htm