Ghost Bridegroom — Chapter 3

Chapter 3: “One must take responsibility after casually throwing a malicious ghost’s head.”　

For normal cultivators, perhaps it was difficult to make a ghost completely fade away. 

However, this was actually very easy for Qianren to achieve. 

Since birth, the demonic energy in his body was able to engulf anything that was demonic. Bi Qianren only needed to become slightly more serious, and he’ll really be capable of eating this malicious ghost.

However, exactly at the moment he was going to decide this matter of life or death, he saw the scar on the headless ghost’s neck.

Qianren’s target Fu Hongye was an outer-sect disciple registered under the Profound Sect’s Fiery Desertion Hall. Because he was extremely talented, the sect had been considerably concerned about him. After all, when Fu Hongye was travelling outside, he had already formed his golden core.

For cultivators, refining your body was quite easy. However, cultivating your heart and establishing one’s Dao was extremely hard. Currently, there weren’t many Nascent Soul cultivators in the mortal plane. 

Within the younger generation, Fu Hongye could already be considered a powerful expert.

Before Fu Hongye left the sect, in order to encourage him so he would remain concentrated on cultivating, the Profound Sect refined a customized spiritual device called “A Startling Red Leaf” to protect him. This device had twelve thin blades—shaped like maple leaves—linked together, and was normally wrapped around Fu Hongye’s wrist like an ornamental bracelet.

However, the moment he used his spiritual power, these leaves would fall in a burst. Everywhere the maple leaves went would usher in silent, intangible death. 

Most importantly, the unique cut pattern of “A Startling Red Leaf”’s attack was exactly the same as the scar on the malicious ghost’s neck.

Bi Qianren, who had suddenly discovered this clue, no longer felt the impulse to teach this headless ghost a lesson. Instead, he raised the ghost’s head to examine the scar carefully. 

The cross-sectional cut he saw probably managed to cut off the head in a single instant. In total, the maple leaves left twelve slashes. 

At the time, Fu Hongye likely used all his spiritual energy in this attack.

However, was a malicious ghost like this—one who had nothing in his brain except for marriage—really worth this kind of cautious treatment?

Could it be that this ghost was deliberately playing the fool to lower Qianren’s guard?

Ultimately, Bi Qianren wasn’t willing to believe that a malicious ghost who could command a whole squad of little ghosts was truly an idiot. While doubtfully carrying the ghost’s head with one hand, he continued to firmly press the malicious ghost’s headless body against the tree trunk to guard against the unexpected.

Bi Qianren asked, “What’s your name?”

The youth had already been a ghost for quite a while. In the past, he could terrify someone out of their wits whenever his head wasn’t placed on firmly and dropped by accident. 

It was truly the first time he had met a living person like this, who would specifically stare at the place where his head had been cut off. 

For a moment, the ghost could only sigh with feeling: this man was truly worthy, as someone who managed to sit on his sedan chair but didn’t die. Sure enough, he stood out from the normal masses.

Despite feeling deeply moved, the malicious ghost knew that his head would probably go flying again if he continued to remain silent. Although he had long lost the sense of pain, finding somewhere to comb his hair in a rural place like this was truly extremely inconvenient.

Thus, the ghost had no other choice but to reply promptly, “This one is called Zhuge Qingtian. Before death, I was the only successful candidate in the imperial provincial examination from the Zhu family.”　 

In the Zhu family and for a county town in the mountains, an imperial candidate was already an extremely rare character. Thus, the ghost’s tone was extremely proud. 

When Bi Qianren saw the ghost’s expression, he thought for a moment, before he ultimately decided to not tell the ghost that he already stopped killing officials below first-rank before he was thirty-years old.

Why? Well, if the rank of his targets weren’t high enough, it hurt the status of the number one hitman. 　 

Compared to what Qianren was expecting, the ghost’s name was surprisingly pleasant. He had originally thought, based on this guy’s temperament, it had to be something lowly like Zhu Dagou or Ge Erdan¹. Who knew the surname would be the complex two-character “Zhuge”?

Bi Qianren’s past assassination targets did include a few literary officials who had the surname “Zhuge”. However, none of them seemed to match this ghost’s personality. 

Bi Qianren couldn’t help but suspect this ghost had randomly fabricated a name to dupe him, so he asked again, “How did you die?”

“I can’t remember how long it’s been since I died. I think I was hacked to death by mountain bandits, although they were ultimately murdered by me in the end……”

These years, Zhuge Qingtian kept attempting to finish his wedding and get married, solving his obsession to enter reincarnation. Unfortunately, even the most violent mountain bandits in this area were unable to remain living on his sedan chair.

Thus, Zhuge Qingtian didn’t manage to finish his wedding even once, but all the mountain bandits blocking his path ended up dying because of him. It made the malicious ghost who thought he was temperate, kind, courteous and restrained feel extremely depressed.

Today, he finally encountered someone like Qianren, who didn’t die. Although Zhuge Qingtian knew this person was very dangerous, he still wanted to try his best to convince Qianren to help him.

Ultimately, he only wanted to swindle someone into finishing the worshipping ceremony with him. Zhuge Qingtian completely didn’t hope to do that in the bridal chamber. 

Thus, his request couldn’t be considered as something too excessive. Who knows, maybe this brother’s heart would end up softening, and he’ll agree?

When he thought of this, Zhuge Qingtian began contemplating—only a single day had passed, but this person’s attitude toward him had already gone from kicking his head flying at first encounter, to holding his head and interrogating him. 

It could even be said that this progress of going from foot to hand had been extremely rapid. If Zhuge Qingtian fostered their feelings for a few more days, marrying him might not be impossible ah…… 

Yes, wasn’t his wife already asking him for his name and life details? It was obvious he was already interested in him! 

Zhuge Qingtian needed to reply appropriately so he would have a good opinion of him! 

After living deep in the mountains and enduring so many years alone, Zhuge Qingtian’s ability to comfort himself had already reached perfection. He used but a mere moment to completely dispel all the worries in his heart.

In fact, Zhuge Qingtian actually began regretting how his answer just now made it seem like he was really old, so he quickly remedied, “But please be at ease. When this husband died, he was only eighteen years old, precisely at the time of his youth! I am definitely not an old cow who eats young grass²!”

Bi Qianren was completely unable to understand. When all was said and down, exactly what kind of a thought process was this ghost using, to turn his interrogation into this topic?

As he silently stared at this extremely earnest-looking head, Qianren finally confirmed: he hadn’t underestimated his opponent.

Other than marriage, there was truly nothing else in this malicious ghost’s head!

Pretty much giving up his intention of interrogating this ghost, Bi Qianren squinted at him before saying, “I have cultivated the demonic path for many years. Technically, I am fifty years older than you.”　 

In the Zhu family, someone knowing a few punching and kicking skills was already considered a top expert. How could Zhuge Qingtian have encountered a cultivator before; an immortal-like character who would frequently enter seclusion for years on end?

Although he was very shocked his own wife was already past sixty-years old, he still unswervingly said, “Actually, calves eating old grass is fine too.”　　 

Of course, for this affection that stepped over both the wide chasm between ages and the boundary between life and death, Mister Hitman Bi Qianren only had one reply:

“Tell, what posture would you like to be in as I scatter your soul?”　　 

As expected, he once again received a rejection. Zhuge Qiantian could only use his last, ultimate trick.

Completely throwing away all his honour, he hugged Bi Qianren’s thigh before he began bawling with grief, “Chivalrous hero, I thought you looked so righteous at first glance! Just consider it as doing a good deed, and complete the worshipping ceremony with me! I died at eighteen without having the chance to see the world. In this rural mountain, I’ve been in utter misery, unable to live or die. If I cannot enter reincarnation, I might as well have my soul scattered from now on!”　　 

You’re the righteous hero, your entire family are righteous heroes³! 

For a demonic cultivator, being regarded as a hero was undoubtedly the greatest disgrace! 

By now, Bi Qianren had already realized that his unnecessary kindness had brought about a huge bother. 

However, because his thigh was hugged too tightly, he could only sternly say, “Has your urge to marry made you insane? Look clearly, I’m a man! In addition, I’m a demonic cultivator!”

What was a demonic cultivator? Could you eat it?

At a complete loss, Zhuge Qingtian blankly blinked his eyes. He realized that sure enough, fifty years was a huge generation gap. He couldn’t even understand what his wife was talking about.

But it didn’t matter, he would strive to overcome this!  

After conquering all hindrances in his heart, Zhuge Qingtian immediately conveyed his determination: “To be honest, as long as one could remain alive while completing the ceremony with me……even if they’re truly a cow, I’ll still be able to force them into my sedan chair.” 

Zhuge Qingtian was relying on how he was a malicious ghost with a corpse’s body, with strength that was out of the ordinary. Right now, since he was doing his utmost best to hug Qianren and not let go, Bi Qianren actually couldn’t shake him off. 

He could only grit his teeth in anger and say, “I only know, in the Palace of Bliss, someone like you would be pressed onto a bed by seven or eight strong men.”　　 

Strong……strong men? Seven…….seven or eight? What kind of a scary place did his wife live in?!

As a simple and honest malicious ghost, the unrestrained lifestyle of demonic cultivators was really stimulating to Zhuge Qingtian. Just thinking about it made him inhale a breath of cold air.

However, in order to marry, Zhuge Qingtian had already thrown all caution to the wind. He only bitterly said, “Come ah. You can top me from the front.”　　 

Finally realizing that both this malicious ghost’s feeling of shame and his brain had completely been eroded while he was still buried, Bi Qianren forced himself to calm down. 

Then, he made his strongest and scariest threat, “If you still won’t let go, I’ll castrate you.”　　 

“Fine, I’ll come again tomorrow.”

If he was castrated, then he wouldn’t be able to get married. Sure enough, the efficacy of this threat was exceptionally good. The moment Zhuge Qingtian heard it, he was immediately terrified. He completely didn’t doubt this indifferent man who could do anything he said. 

After resentfully letting go, Zhuge Qingtian said, “Wife, can you help me put my head back on again? Please don’t put it on crooked, and don’t use your foot to kick it. Be a little bit more gentle, thank you.”　 

After being entangled for so long, he finally temporarily got rid of this malicious ghost! 

Bi Qianren vowed: he would go and flatten the Zhu family on this very night. Afterwards, he would step on a cloud and never again return to this terrible place. 

Qianren would rather have life and death battles with ten righteous heroes, than stay with this brainless ghost for another moment longer! 

Seeing how this ghost had really sat down obediently, no longer trying to glomp him, Qianren finally relaxed, feeling almost like he had succeeded in passing his calamity. He casually flung over the ghost’s head before coldly warning, “Alright, I don’t have the time to play with you. Take your head and quickly scram.” 

With Bi Qianren’s violent temper, Zhuge Qingtian hadn’t hoped he would really gently put his head back on. Not using his foot to kick it over was already exceptionally gentle. 

Thus, Zhuge Qingtian didn’t complain. He only raised his hands to catch his own head. 

After being kicked, his head had rolled down an entire mountain. Afterwards, Qianren held it by his hair for a long time. Now, no traces of the once carefully bound bun could be seen, and it was as messy as a ball of hair.

However, just when Zhuge Qingtian began pondering in grief, just how much hair he would lose this time while combing this mess, a big, blood-red bird flew down from the sky.

Then, it opened his beak and grabbed his falling head before flying away!　　 

Zhuge Qingtian froze, both hands still raised stiffly. He could feel his head—with his dumbstruck expression and messy hair fluttering in the wind—getting farther and farther away. 

Finally reacting, he yelled in alarm, “Wife! My head got stolen by a bird! You lost my head! My body will never be complete and intact again! In the future, I won’t even be able to see my own face anymore!” 

Then, that indignant, headless body grabbed Bi Qianren’s sleeve. Even without a face, one could tell from his body gestures just how hopeful and full of expectations he was as he said, “I know it is impossible for a man like you to not take responsibility. So, when can we marry?”　　 

Zhu family, this rotten place, must be poisonous! Even if you disregard the deranged ghost, why were even the birds so abnormal!

Cursing the fengshui⁴ of this area, Bi Qianren expressionlessly stared at the frightened big bird who began flying away even faster. 

He no longer pondered why a malicious ghost who could kill someone with just his evil aura would be weak to the point a bird could snatch his head. He also didn’t wonder why losing a head meant he was responsible for marrying a malicious ghost.

As a matter of fact, Bi Qianren only had a single thought in his mind right now—

Actually, being the Protector of the demonic way wasn’t bad. 

Was it too late for him to go back?

1. “Dagou” can be translated as “big dog” while “Erdan” can be translated as “two eggs”. These are considered lowly, “countryside” names given by parents who never had an education.
2. Idiom for a romance where the man is significantly older than the woman.
3. This is actually a way to curse someone haha, although normally “righteous hero” is replaced with something more vulgar.
4. Fengshui is philosophy of trying to harmonize with the natural world through one’s surroundings.